One of the hardest things in life is saying goodbye. What makes a goodbye “good”? In this post, I will share what to remember when saying goodbye.
September is a time for new beginnings as much as New Years is. Everyone is heading back to school; people are starting new jobs. It’s the time you set goals for yourself for the semester or workplace, a time for fresh starts. But can we talk about the time before these exciting moments, when it’s time to say goodbye to what you once knew?
Having just finished grade 12, I have said a lot of goodbyes over the past few months. Goodbye to high school (which I won’t really miss). Goodbye to the peers and teachers I’ve met over the years (which I will miss, for the most part 😉). Goodbye to my dance studio, my second home for the past fourteen years, where I have grown immeasurably and made lifelong friendships. As I prepare to move for university, goodbye to my family and home where I have lived the past eighteen years. And, although I’ve been eighteen for six months, university is the pivotal point of transitioning into a life of adulthood. Goodbye, childhood.
Change is good
That’s a lot of change in just a few months. With this change has come a lot of fear, tears, and self-doubt. So many thoughts have passed through my head during this time: Am I making the right decisions? I don’t want to say goodbye to all of the important people and things in my life. Why do I have to grow up? Can’t I stay young and carefree for the rest of my life? I have no idea what I’m doing with my life and that is terrifying.
I’ve always had a hard time with goodbyes, so you can imagine how much of a wreck I’ve been this year. But you know what? Sure, there’s going to be a lot of changes in life and yes, it’s going to hurt, but nothing is concrete. You will see your friends again, and you will make so many new relationships in this chapter of your life. You will come home from university for visits, and in the 21st century there are infinite ways to stay in touch. True, distance may change your relationships slightly, but for the people that matter most in your life the distance really is nothing to worry about.
Time to adjust
Allow yourself some time to adjust to the new things in your life. If tears need to be shed (or have already shed, like for me) then that’s perfectly fine. If you’re elated to leave your life behind and start anew, awesome. And if you’re really not making many changes this year, that’s great, too. Everyone will face change in life, everyone will say “goodbye” at some point, whether it be to people or places or even a chapter in your life. Sometimes this will happen on good terms, sometimes not. That’s okay.
Goodbye is not permanent
Remember that it doesn’t have to be a permanent goodbye if you don’t want it to be. When it comes to the important people in your life, you may not see them for weeks or even months, but when you do see them it will be as if no time separated you. Also, imagine all of the stories you will have to share with them about the crazy adventures you have had! Time can be our worst enemy, but it can also allow us to appreciate the relationships and things that we have in life.
Many see this time in life as a time for letting go, whether they want to or not. You may not want to lose a loved one; you may not want to lose a job or drop out of school, or you really didn’t want to break up with your partner. But really, nothing is a goodbye. Everything will fall into place, one way or another; you have the memories of your loved one to always think about; you have the ability to get a new job, or finish school. You will move on, eventually, and if your partner wasn’t the right person for you, some day you will meet your match. Things may not come back to you right away, but eventually they can and always will.
Appreciate the good times
One last thing to remember when saying goodbye is that you don’t realize something is good until it’s too late: appreciate what you have in life before you no longer have it. Say thank you for the little things, even if you don’t think you’ll miss them later on. I remember on my last day of high school, as I walked down the halls for the final time and I realized there was a pattern on the floor tiles. Is that new? I wondered to myself then. It wasn’t new, it had always been there–I just hadn’t taken a moment to really look at the place where I grew so much the last four years. This happens so often in life. We don’t look at what we have and say thank you, not until it’s no longer a significant part of our life.
In short, life is….well, short. Appreciate what you have when you have it, and remember that you are never really saying goodbye. You are just saying “see you soon.”
Until next time.