By the time you’re reading this, I am settling into my new home in Waterloo for second year. The last few weeks of summer were so busy, between working at the camp over 40 hours a week, visiting Waterloo for residence life staff training, shopping and packing for my new apartment off-campus, I haven’t had much time to take a breath. While I love being busy, I know important it is to set time aside for myself to restore my energy. Now that I have that opportunity, I wanted to share my expectations for the new school year, to help those of you attending university for the first time know what to expect in university.
These expectations do not revolve around my academics: I am not saying that I want a certain GPA, or to get enough credits towards my minor. I have found that making particular goals around my academics only adds on stress. A course may be harder than I expected, and the fact that I may learn a lot from it, I’ll only focus on how I finished with a lower-than-expected grade. This type of goal setting (for me, at least) focuses on the negative rather than the positive and has little room for flexibility.
Instead of creating academic expectations, these ten expectations are related to my personal growth. There is plenty of room for them to change as I go through this new school year, but they act as guidance for how I want to live.
By sharing what to expect for the new school year, I want to show you how important it is for us to take care of ourselves mentally while being so busy with school and work. We are often so focused on our performance that we struggle to take care of ourselves, and in the end our performance suffers. By taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself and showing yourself patience, you will find that your outlook on life, school and work changes dramatically.
So, here are my ten expectations for this upcoming school year.
1. Take more time for myself.
One thing I really overlooked in first year was taking more time to do things that I enjoy and help me relax. I talked about the importance of relaxing in this post, and it still rings true. Not only does taking regular breaks help you feel relaxed, it also re-energizes you. There’s nothing worse than getting lost in school/work and feeling totally drained, physically and emotionally.
This happened to me very quickly in first semester, and during the summer when I was working 40 hours a week at the summer camp. I know that it can be hard to take breaks when you have so many assignments, deadlines and exams, but trust me, you can manage some time to relax. Even watching an episode of your favourite show when you get home from work is a way of distressing, as is taking a bath with essential oils or going out to dinner with a loved one. These are little moments in time that we take advantage of. Planning some time for yourself every day will give you the motivation to make it through the day, and leave you refreshed for the next day.
I still struggle to make time for myself. I’ve always been someone who gets very anxious about time; since I knew how to tell time, I was constantly checking the clock (I’m talking ten times in a row), and I was always stressed about being “on time” to everything. Nowadays I get very anxious about not having “enough” time, whatever that means. I can get quite antsy when I have a load of work to do, and feel frustrated when I think that I don’t have time to do something for myself.
My mother has been a big help with overcoming this very real anxiety that I have (thanks, Mom!), and always proves to me that I have even half an hour every day to just chill. Even when I am my busiest, I can have a few minutes in the morning while eating my breakfast to read a book for fun, or blast my favourite tunes while driving home from a long day of work, or putting my diffuser on before I go to bed. It’s the little moments like this that help me feel refreshed and calm. I am trying to find a few of these moments in every day of my life, and I encourage you to do it too.
2. Know when to say “no.”
Similar to the last point, it is very easy to get overwhelmed with work and activities when there is so much around you to do. Especially in university, it can be difficult to find the work-play balance. It can be difficult to turn down the opportunities you are offered because of FOMO (fear of missing out). You don’t want to be the person who missed that awesome party, or didn’t take on that amazing research apprenticeship during your hectic school term. As a result, you’ll find yourself saying yes to your friends that ask you to stay up a few more hours to watch another movie, when you have an 8:30am class the next morning. Or to late-night pub visits when you have a big project due the next day. Or volunteering for too many extra-curricular activities that you are struggling to finish your assignments on time, let alone get a decent amount of sleep.
I didn’t attend many social events in high school until my grade twelve year, so I wanted to make up for it in university. In the first few weeks I tried doing everything: going to as many orientation events possible, staying up until 3am on a Sunday just talking with friends when I had an 8:30am chem lecture, signing up for over a dozen clubs (don’t worry, I ended up only participating in two or three for the year). I was feeding my hunger for social engagement that I had been desiring for years, only to very quickly get overwhelmed with all of the activities I put on myself. I didn’t want to miss out on anything, though, so I found it hard to figure out where my boundaries were.
I soon realized that I had to slow down and recenter myself. I decided that my current habits were unsustainable and I had to be true to myself to be successful during the year. I still enjoyed social events, but I cut back on the amount that I participated in, or used them as rewards for getting through things on my “priority list.” For instance, I could stay up late on the weekend watching RuPaul or random YouTube videos with my friend if I first finished my assignment that was due on Monday.
3. Find a co-op job I will enjoy, not just pays well.
With my first co-op work term coming up in the winter, September and October is all about applying and being interviewed for jobs. There will definitely be some jobs that pay better than others, and they might be tempting to take. However, money does not equal happiness. I’d much rather be happy at my job while earning minimum wage instead of being miserable but earning a few dollars more each hour. I want to look back on my first co-op term and recall all of the great memories I made during it. I want it to be related to my field of study, with plenty of room to learn and exercise my skills.
Student positions do not always provide the best paycheque, but I am okay with that. I am in a fortunate enough place where my tuition is being covered by scholarships/my parents’ help, and I know that many people are not as lucky. For these people, a better paying job may be necessary just to live. I absolutely understand and respect whatever financial status you are in. For myself, I want to make the most of my fortunate state and have a mindfully-enriching experience. As cheesy as it sounds, I want to be rich in experience. I do not want materialistic or monetary wealth if gaining this wealth impedes on my emotional wellbeing.
4. Experience living in my own (partially) apartment.
Yes, I did technically live away from home last year. However, I was living on residence, which is not like living in your own apartment. You don’t pay rent on residence (technically, you pay a large sum of money when you enrol); at my residence, your meal plan was covered in your housing fee. There were community events, floor meetings and communal dinners to get you involved with the other residents. You saw your friends practically every day (unless they slept the whole day) and could have big hangouts in the evening. There were dons that enforced the rules of the residence, and acted as mentors for when you needed guidance or support.
Living in an apartment off campus is going to be a very different experience. Now I must make all of my own meals (which isn’t a problem for me because I love cooking), pay rent every month, and I will not be seeing my friends every day if we don’t have classes together. Although there are rules enforced by the property manager, living in an apartment is a much more independent experience. There are no “quiet hours,” no set meal times. While I do have a roommate (shoutout to my anana, Alessia!) it can be a lonely experience if I make it one. I won’t, of course. It will be nice to have our own space where we can have friends over. While I did enjoy living on residence, not having to cook, living right on campus, I think living in an apartment with one of my best friends is going to be even better.
5. Attend more events on campus, within reason.
While I did attend many of the orientation events last year, the number of UWaterloo events that I attended began to dwindle after this point. I did do things around the city, but this year I want to be more involved with my student body. I specifically want to attend more events held by my faculty. That should be easy, though, because as the Vice President of Operations for Environment Student Society (the student committee for the faculty) I will already be engaged in the planning and execution process for all of these events. However, like I mentioned previously I will make sure to remember my boundaries so I don’t get overwhelmed like last year.
6. Be a great Peer Leader and role model to incoming first-years.
For at least the first semester (and most likely the winter semester, if I am in Waterloo for my co-op), I will be working part-time as a Peer Leader at my old residence. A Peer Leader is someone who offers both academic and personal support to incoming first-years; for me, I will be working with the students from the Faculty of Environment on my floor. I’m really happy because I will also be working with the students on the floor I lived on last year! It’s going to be weird seeing someone else living in my old room…
As a Peer Leader, I will attend floor meetings, plan my own floor events, host study hall a few times each term, and attend other events like community dinners throughout the term. I’ll also get to work with some of my friends from first year on the Peer Leader/Don team, which will be great. Next year I may even apply to be a don. Being a Peer Leader will help me feel out the responsibilities I have as a residence life staff, while testing my abilities to manage this job on top of six courses this semester. I’m confident that I can do it, though!
7. Visit home more often.
I started doing this more towards the end of my first year, but it definitely would have helped me if I’d been doing it since the beginning. Going home just for a weekend helps deal with homesickness, and is a way to mentally refresh yourself. Visiting familiar places, maybe going to a movie or just staying home and ordering a pizza, any weekend home from school was always something to look forward to. You realize how much you value being with family and getting to cuddle with your cat when you are away for awhile.
8. Reduce my time on social media.
Social media is an easy, easy way to waste time. Not to mention the fact that scrolling through your feed, seeing all of the fun your friends are having at their university, just puts unnecessary stress on you. You may not realize how much it stresses you out, but this mental comparison game we play when we spend time on social media is not healthy in any way. On mornings when I’m not spending time scrolling through Instagram or worrying about my Snapchat streaks, I feel more refreshed and focused. I try not to be on my phone at least an hour before I go to sleep, and I find that I sleep better when I don’t have that sort of mental stimulation so close to bed.
I’ve heard about apps that dissuade you from using social media, like one where you grow a forest and as soon as you open the app or unlock your phone the forest is destroyed. For an environmentalist like myself, this app is a great idea. I also put my phone on airplane mode during times that I really do not want to be disturbed, such as when I’m reading or going to the spa. I encourage you to reduce the time that you are aimlessly scrolling on social media, or even try a 24-hour cleanse and see how you feel after. I promise you that it will not be the end of the world if you unplug for just one day.
9. Treat myself regularly.
I have a plan to treat myself at least once a week. This “treat” will come in different forms: going to a coffee shop to just relax, not to do work. Going for a massage at least once a month, or a manicure. Take myself out to breakfast or lunch. Visit the library and just spend one day on the weekend reading for fun. Something for my own mental wellbeing, because I know how stressed I can be during the school year and how little I take care of myself. I already booked a massage to have within the first few weeks of school; I’ll need it after the stress of moving in, getting back into the school-routine, and starting new courses.
10. Go on a solo trip.
Something that I’ve really been inspired to do is to take a solo trip. I really want to visit British Columbia and see all of the beautiful sites that the province has to offer. I want to reconnect with my surroundings and escape the smog of the city, while having some time to reflect on where my life is taking me. I also would like to go by myself because then I have full control over what I do; if I want to climb a mountain, I can do that; if I want to just chill in a coffee shop all day, I can do that too. I don’t have to worry about what anyone else wants to do and I can be in a place where no one knows me or my story. Total freedom.
I saved enough money over the summer to go on this trip, so now it is a matter of figuring out when I will go. Most likely it will be next year, towards the end of summer when I am in between my spring and fall term of school. I am still looking into the details of the trip, but I’m making myself a promise to do it before life gets too busy.
Final thoughts
With a new school year comes new expectations. These ten expectations, or rather goals, are what I hope to achieve over the next year. I am not putting too much pressure on myself to achieve every single one of them; they are meant to reduce stress, not create it.
Perhaps reading through my expectations will inspire you to create some for yourself. What do you really hope to achieve this year? What is something that you struggled with last year, not from an academic standpoint but from a personal standpoint? How can you improve on this? Understanding our strengths and weaknesses can help us grow as individuals, so I think that reflecting on these points often and assessing how you can move forward will make for a better year.
I hope that you all enjoy your first week of school. For those attending university for the first time, all the best to you! I hope you now know what to expect in university, and how to take care of yourself through the process. For my high school friends, good luck with this new and exciting year. For returning university students or those not attending school, I hope that this year is the best one yet for you.
If you enjoyed this post, check out these helpful ones for starting your university journey:
- 10 tips for living sustainably in university
- Why daily goals are essential for success
- What to remember when saying goodbye (to high school)
- How to be “successful”
- Lessons learned from first year
- Lessons learned from second year
Until next time!
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